i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
