There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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