it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
