spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
