it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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