Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
