i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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