Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
