dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
