i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
