Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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