just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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