Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
