Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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