my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
