Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is it because I queefed?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
