accomplished twins. life is a go
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
