I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
