eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
