i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
