I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
