so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize