You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
