I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
