So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
