Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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