Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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