Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
