can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
