well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
