she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize