So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
