I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
