I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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