I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize