we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
