I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize