So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
