Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
