I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We are all done wearing pants today
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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