**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
