Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize