My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
