whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
