Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
