I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
