so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
