GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
