I just pynch a tree in the face
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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