Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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