saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
