I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
