We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
