I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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