I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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