Girls should come with a carfax report
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
