She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
