haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
