Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
