Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
