How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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