I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
