Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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