you guys were way drunker than both of me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
