no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
