I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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