elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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