i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
