pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize