so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
