Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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